Choking the chicken, flogging the dolphin, bashing the bishop, spending time with Adam and his four brothers (or for my bi and pansexual and straight-male folks, Hannah and her four sisters), or, my personal expression, “Washing dishes” (long story)… you know the terms. In order for there to be any assistance at this self-service station, at least for me, there has to be some entertainment. Often presented to you by the world-wide web, modeling fantastic men hiding beneath the two dimensions of a computer screen and the intangible fantasies that have the numbing, removed feeling of past encounters. But instead of the person that was there, let’s put Steve Carell in his place. Or Stanley Tucci. Or Logan Stevens. Or Steve Kelso. Or any other representation of celebrity in many shapes and forms of media.
While it’s nice to cum (he-he) to this one-man show, it’s nicer to visit. Maybe on a lazy Saturday or the occasional night when trying to sleep or even a moment when you’re feeling especially horny or just need to relieve some stress or tension. But when your visits start to extend into time shares and suddenly, you’re putting up property and have a beach house next to the very place that’s only meant to temporary relief, then it becomes a problem.
This is part of the reason why I’ve been away. Why I had been putting off this article (or rather, articles, now). Many times, addiction can be about hiding. And for me, it definitely was. If I put it off and continued to soak my dish-pan hands in suds, then I wouldn’t have to write and wouldn’t have to deal with all these possibilities running through my mind: what if no one likes what I have to say? What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if I have to be responsible for a continuing effort? For God’s sake, man, I need some time with the dishes RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
So, seeing Pilot in front of me, exposed and fully nude, taking notice of his build and how he still had a pretty full bush of pubic hair, I was dealing with the fact that I was both looking at him as a subject for these pieces and to reclaim territories of intellect in the shallow surface that was literally skin deep. But I also felt like I was leering. Here was this hot, naked dude in front of me, completely willing to hide nothing and showing me everything he’s got. Despite that I wasn’t getting excited (I was more concentrating on the questions) I still couldn’t help but feel a certain shame, like I was hiding in the depths of a depraved movie theater, feeling like people outside were saying things like, Oh, that’s where all the filthy people go to. Disgraceful. Have they no decency? At least we have the patience to wait until we’re home before fashioning vibrating cock rings and shoving things up our ass.
So, with Pilot, completely open and exposed right in front of me, I decided to ask him questions based around sexual expression:
Actually another question, I didn’t even think to put out there, I keep not wanting to look at your dick. (collective laughter) Because I’m thinking, I know he’s doing this for me, I’m wondering if I, ugh, put my eyes on there, am I, am I gonna be looked upon as a pervert? Ya know, there’s Pilot’s dick.
Right?
Umm, ya know, I mean, I think a next question would be what is-s-s-s your view on that? Like, ya know, when you’re, when you’re nude, someone’s trying not to look down there, bu-u-ut.. what is your take on it?
Ugh (shrugs shoulders), I mean, I think, like, most of my exposure towards other nude males, right? As a straight guy, it just primarily comes up in locker rooms, like after a while, there’s just kind of a bit of a learned behavior about keeping your eyes up. Much in the same way if you’re trying to talk to a girl and not trying to come across as crass, you’re just trying to keep your eyes up above their neck. I think there’s a similar kind of learned behavior about, like, if both guys in that context are straight, just not trying to look too far south. But, I wonder how that actually works, right? Because often times, I find, in that circumstance, with the person presumably doing something athletic even if it’s just casually going for a swim somewhere vs workout partners. I’m always kind of curious about people’s musculature. Sports has been a life-long fascination for me. There’s a reason why I ride these things everywhere (pointing to his collection of bicycles). Ummm, I have three road bikes.
Oh, wait, actually, I can see them right there. I just got distra-distracted by your penis, I’m sorry.
(I can’t believe I had the perfect opportunity to say “dick-stracted” and I didn’t take it. Oh, well, live and learn, I guess).
Yeah, yeah.
Joke, joke.
Umm, your viewpoint, especially in this, in this scenario. Where I’m gay, you’re straight. You know nothing sexual is going to happen.
Yeah.
But, I’m still trying not to look therebecause I’m a gay man and I like looking at naked men.
Right.
But with, what is your take on that, I guess?
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think I’m probably fine with it. I worked at the gym for a while. And ugh, worked there while there was a new gym being built and then we moved one day. Like, all of a sudden, we closed the old location to move into the new location… The old location had been sort of known as a cruising spot. So frequently, at the end of my shift, my roommate at the time was also gay and we would come down there and we would lift weights and then, ugh, we’d go home. And definitely had men approach me and definitely had men approach my friend, too. Who often times would have Grindr running while we were working out and so they’d approach both of us, assuming that that was the reason we were there together. But I never once encountered a situation where, I was like, Sorry, I’m straight, but my friend’s cute. Right? I mean, none of that ever felt, ya know, like someone was being creepy. It just felt like they were being complimentary.
Yeah, I like that, too.
Yeah, like, ya know, there have been guys with straight women that I found attractive that I probably wouldn’t have approached anyways. But that’s more about me being selective about my partners in a general sense, nothing to do with homosexuality. It’s like, that’s a nice compliment, but your energy’s wasted on me (says this as he’s laughing), I’ll point you to somebody else, here.
I have to equate that to what I’ve been doing all this time. That I have found a certain comfort in wasting the day away just lookin’ at naked dudes or naked dudes in sexual situations or naked dudes, well, just a lot of situations involving naked men.
I started changing my routine more, but as of a week ago, after a few months of working out and writing and keeping up with my posts and actually seeing results, I started falling back. This was because a few exterior factors that I let take control. And before I knew it, there I was again, putting up properties and investing in territories in this self-service station that went beyond just a healthy sexual expression. It quickly elapsed into this dependency, replacing action with stagnancy and self reform with the perceived realities of fantasies that felt safe from the separation of mental distance. But, this time, I’m recognizing it. Last time, I let the minutes and days sink into weeks and months and even a few years. It’s easy to fall back, especially when you’re trying to cope with perceived failures. But, here’s the question: What good is it doing you to stay on the ground after you’ve fallen? This is a big part of life. Getting back up again and taking that first step. Except this time around, I’m stopping it sooner than I did last time.
Porn, adult entertainment, whatever you wanna call it is fine and even great on its own. But when it’s starting to take up every free second of every day, and you’re not doing it professionally? This is when it becomes a problem. Masturbation is supposed to be a release. And a release is only really beneficial when it’s needed, even if it edges into more casual circumstances. But when that release has taken on the continuation of your time and before you know it, it’s midnight and you haven’t done shopping or chores or worked out or done anything you set out to do, then, yeah, that’s not good. Anything can become too much.
And, it doesn’t necessarily have to be working out or writing, but whatever you use to give you a sense of accomplishment and you can tell yourself: Hey, I did this. Whether that be cleaning or cooking or research or helping people or getting into the tech scene or even just waking up one day and deciding that you’ll try to see things differently. Whatever works for you, do it.
For me, that is part of it. Because I literally feel like I am gradually breaking chains I’ve wrapped myself up in like a security blanket. And, I find that what helps the most is not trying like hell to break them, but through them. Celebrate the demons of doubt and fear that have made me who I am and even throwing them a party and just saying to them, Hey, it’s been, well, it’s been. But, I think it’s time you take a step back. Thank you for shaping me to what I am today, but I think we need some time apart.
With that said, I’ll still probably wash dishes. Hey, jacking off is part of a healthy sexual outlet. But, I think, for me, maybe it’s a better idea to assign either a certain day or even a few days of the week devoted to that for a certain amount of time. Outside of that? I’ll just keep pushing forward. That will be my method. I’ll see you in the next article, where I’ll be talking about body image. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some dishes to wash…. actual dishes, you perverts.
Like I’ve said time and time again in my pieces, let’s collaborate more. Let’s have more artists that are ENM enthusiasts to make the films and projects we want to see.
I have made what I want to see in an ENM story no secret: a male character that’s fully dressed that gradually introduces a theme of humiliation. Let’s not just see a guy naked, but really see how he got naked. Another thing I’ve said before, it’s not just the nudity that’s the star of the show, it’s the journey the character went through to being naked and exposed. That build-up of tension, the hot flush of embarrassment that slowly takes possession of a man’s face before even one article of clothing is removed? That really gets me going.
To me, embarrassment? Humiliation? Especially when it’s tied to the theme of a fetish is an art form, a manufactured thread that’s slowly peeled from masculine attire to reveal the flesh of the creative work compiled of artists and actors that really know how to invest in the bullet factories compacted in the realistic sweat of their brow. It’s fiction that’s specifically tailored to fit into the niche of ENM. And since this is a piece written from my point of view, I am compiling together just a few pieces I’ve written that I’d love to see made into films. More a sampling, really, of what I like to see when it comes to ENM…
This is one of my more requested works. If someone reaches out to me and asks me where to find one of my stories, this is usually the one they’re referring to.
This story centers on Dave. A husky bear-like type guy that’s shapely and has body hair for days. Dave is minding his own business, just walking listening to music when he suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bunch of guys that fancy themselves a “gang”. They’re actually dressed like West-Side-Story rejects and their “gang” activity is more PG-rated compared to actual gang violence. But, when it concerns Dave, their motivations are definitely more X-rated when it comes to public exposure.
These guys talk to David in a rather intimidating fashion ultimately leading up to asking Dave for articles of clothing: Hey man, can I have your shoes? Can I have your socks? Can I have your vest? So on and so forth until David really doesn’t have anything else to give up.
This story was fun to write because it encompasses a slow humiliation. Not only that, but the dialogue really revs up the tension. There are many points in the conversation where the character feels they may let him go, but it’s ultimately a false pretense. And by the point they start asking him for his clothing one piece at a time, the character is already in the throws of intensity.
Since this character is more beefy, it would be great to see a husky, bearish guy with a lot of body hair and a real nice face to be cast. One that can carry such a physique well. This would be fun to make into a short fetish film.
One of my favorite kinds of ENM storylines is ones that involve a comical slant, where there’s a certain light-hearted nature and a playfulness that edges into a spicy territory. The main character can find himself in the slow shock of embarrassment that singles him out before his clothes start to gradually disappear.
In this story, Professor Dolton has started his class, but, what’s this? A mysterious voice enters the picture. No one knows where the voice is coming from and as the professor is thrown by the confusion of this disconnected voice, it starts to talk to him about the importance of teaching and how he doesn’t need much to realize that: not his papers or his desk or his blackboard and, eventually, not even his clothing.
This was inspired by a movie I saw when I was younger called “Kentucky Fried Movie”.
This was a parody that involved different skits and vignettes. One of them centered on a housewife that didn’t realize all the things that a certain product was made with that a voice was telling her about. It was one of those single-camera commercial parodies and obviously played for laughs. Every time something is mentioned that the product is made with, it disappears. While her clothing doesn’t disappear, her bra and the buttons on her blouse do.
This was actually my least favorite part. I personally don’t like ENF or embarrassed-nude-female material. It makes me uncomfortable and, personally, to me, media is too littered with images where women are more objects of desire. How many times in a drama or a suspense or horror or even a comedy where a woman is reminded she is just an object or something to be ogled and is humiliated or violated for it? That’s what those kinds of scenarios make me think of and it just gives me the ick
With that said, if that’s your thing and you don’t carry it out with malice or intent to harm, that’s fine. Like I said before, I don’t kink shame. And if everyone involved is a willing participant or it’s just a fictionalized story, then have at it. It’s just not my thing.
But, I did think to myself, what if the genders were reversed and it was a man? While it’s not the exact same scenario, it still has the playfulness and the sexiness of what I’m sure the original intent of that scenario was.
Okay, this, I think, would involve some kind of special effect or AI engine to pull off. And AI is something I haven’t mastered. Hell, I haven’t even gotten control of the basics.
This story involves Jay Dandridge, a smug business man in a cafe that is pretty pompous and treats everyone else like they’re less important than he is. He’s got things to do! And everyone else is just in the way.
This is also taking place in a reality where a certain type of magic exists. A world where certain people have certain abilities to make things happen. And when Jay treats the wrong person like crap, she soon takes vengeance by slowly making his clothing rip away from his body by magical means. And not only does she get in on the act but several other people in the cafe do.
Okay, this I’ve always wanted to see get played out. A man being slowly and gradually stripped completely naked in public by magical means has always been a fascination of mine and really gets me goin’. If you’ve read my previous stories and articles, then you know that the more public the scenario, the hotter I find it. And what’s better than a man being forcibly exposed in a coffee shop full of people in broad daylight?
Also, I put some dialogue in here that I really enjoy. One part I wrote involves an officer that Jay thinks has come to help him, but as the officer continues talking, he’s reminded that no one is going to be saving him from public humiliation. Here’s an excerpt….
“’He said there was some naked man exposing himself to everyone at the café.’
‘Huh, really?’ Justin says, caring this playful look and directing his eyes to Jay. And Jay doesn’t like the look on this smug guy’s face.
‘Naked!?’ Jay says. ‘Officer,’ he says, nervously laughing, ‘as you can see, no one’s naked. These people have been taking pieces of my clothing off using magic!’ he yells. ‘Thank God you’re here.’
The officer squints his eyes and shrugs his shoulders and pulls out a report. ‘Well, I’ve already got the report filled and, ugh,’ he points to a part of the paper and shows it to the baristo as Jay looks nervously onward. ‘I mean, Justin, does, ugh, well, that says naked, right?’
‘It sure does,’ Justin says.
‘Well, I mean, I’d have to fill out another report and it’s just a lot of red tape. I wouldn’t want to have to make more work for myself by having to do another report over again with you being partially dressed. It clearly says naked here, sir, soooo…’”
I really like writing dialogue like that. The kind that drags out the embarrassment and humiliation and really drives home to the character that, at some point, he is not going to be wearing anything and he will be the only person that has no clothing.
This, to me, is what ENM is all about: the embarrassment, the humiliation, and, most importantly, seeing how the clothing is taken away. Actually, more importantly than that, the dialogue and the tension leading up to that point. How it hints, at first, and makes the main character unsettled and slowly, it’s making him feel that sting of embarrassment and may even make him hold himself in certain ways and how even the clothing he’s currently wearing is feeling like a security blanket because it will soon be taken from him.
This is the type of fiction I like. This is what’s spicy to me.
And speaking of that, there’s one more type of scenario that really gets me going and it’s more of a classic to me. The ol’ dependable forced-to-strip scenario:
This story focuses on Rick Sals. An attractive red-headed gent that’s a public figure opening up a bank. But there are some protesters that are not liking the politics of this bank or how cavalier Rick has been about it all.
These armed protesters take control of this very public live-news event and decide to have a moment to chat with Rick. They want him to feel the embarrassment and the humiliation and degradation that he’s put others through. And, eventually, they force him to strip at gun point.
This simple premise has been at the baseline of my fetish ever since I’ve had it. It’s classic and dependable. Plus, I just really like that command being spoken: take off your clothes. Or, even better, in this case: take off all of your clothes.
This goes into seeing how the clothing is removed. Hearing certain commands is pretty hot. And listening to everything leading up to that command is exciting. This I would love to see in a film or a movie.
And, in all of these scenarios, there is one very important thing that is especially important to me: enforced full-frontal nudity. And none of that implied shit. No. I want to actually see it.
You see, for me, what’s missing in many forced-nudity/ENM scenarios of a visual medium is how it’s shot. What I want is a full body shot from head to toe from beginning to end. I want to see the embarrassment and the sweating bullets of the character and I want to see the clothing being removed or them having to remove clothing from a full-body shot. I want to see a man’s body being slowly unveiled just as I would if I were actually there. This, to me, is hot. Nothing annoys me more when the camera cuts away as the character is undressing or the clothing is being removed from him. Even if it does have full-frontal nudity, we didn’t see the best part… them actually stripping or being stripped.
With all of this said, like I’ve said before, it’s imperative to me that this all takes place within the realm of fiction. This is not something I would like to see carried out in reality. But it being acted out as it’s being filmed? That’s awesome. Or, if AI ever gets to that point or if I’m ever able to master AI to that point, creating a scenario where we see it play out just like this. And, hey, if anyone has any AI pointers, that would be helpful. Because, seriously, I am a complete novice.
But, this is just a sample of what I like to see as an ENM fetishist. This is what turns me on. I get that it’s not the same for everyone. And that’s what I like about this. It’s not for everyone who even shares this fetish. But the main thing is we all share this fetish. I would like to, one day, be able to make a short film or even a short fetish film, and gather some people together that are just as enthusiastic about this as I am where we all have the same end goal, how we want to see ENM portrayed. I say, you can do the same. However you want to see it, as long as no one is getting hurt or is actually being put through any kind of emotional distress or turmoil to get to the end product and everyone is a complete willing participant, then have at it. It would be awesome to see what people will come up with when they have the passion and the drive to create what they want to see.
Forced-male nudity. This would be the term I would often search for in the days of Yahoo! Groups. Often drawn to titles under companies like “Academy Men” or even “Sharpshooter Studios” (granted, the latter was far more playful and softcore), I was both fascinated and turned on by situations where men found themselves not only vulnerable, but forced into often very public scenarios where their clothing is taken from them in varying ways.
For this type of fetish to work for me, it would have to start at the beginning of the situation. With a man fully dressed and seeing the realization dawn on them and they’re soon going to be naked and, often, the only one in such an exposed state. It’s more about the removal of the clothing and the tense and slow build-up even before the first article of attire is taken.
However, it’s also important that these were fictional situations. It is far more entertaining to me when everyone is a participant (including the soon-to-be-embarrassed party), but acted out with such authenticity that you can feel the tension sparked up in the quickening pulses and snapped open in the exhilarating shudders of rapid breathing.
“Sharpshooter Studios”, on the other hand, is often known (and rather notorious) for these situations where the acting is sub-par. And honestly, I kind of like that, too. There’s a certain playfulness and charm in the innocence of guys that seem very ready to participate in a fictional situation beneath the thin veil of acting out nervousness. That, I think has it’s place, too.
But, even with the more hardcore directions of “Academy Men” where uniformed men are stripped or forced to strip fashioned in the theme of leather and BDSM, I’d often stop when it got to portraying pain, despite the fact that the men being put in these scenarios were still a participant.
To me, it’s all about just embarrassment and how the clothing is removed in either playful or serious situations beneath the fiction of lights, camera, action.
So, once Pilot shed his clothes and sat down in a non-chalant, almost masculine manner of being unbothered and unashamed of letting himself be seen in this way, one of the first things I, of course, asked him about was the subject of ENM:
So, whenever I watch an ENM scene, umm, especially one with forced nudity, I tend to get kind of excited. Usually if it’s just focused on the nudity. So, you remember the movie, “Bullet” that I wrote about, umm, where Mickey Rourke forced those two dudes to strip, um, what was your take on that in that situation, do you think it was justified? And also, what is your take on them being in public like that?
Yeah, um, so I had actually completely forgotten about that scene from “Bullet” when I read the article. Um, this embarrassed-male-nudity thing is a little more about clothing than it is about nudity was my take-away. I think it always seems that clothing is like a communicative thing, right? I mean, in theory whatever clothes you choose to wear communicating something about yourself. And that has always felt like a language that I don’t quite know how to speak. So I almost wonder how much of that is, sort of, ya know, about the embarrassment part of nudity and whatever way of presenting yourself. The barrier you had against the rest of the eyes of the world is taken away rather than having something explicitly to do with nudity. That was a question that I had. I don’t know if I’m right.
You are. I mean, to me, it is about the removal of the clothing.
Yeah, but does that center around the removal of the clothing or the consequent nudity afterwards? I’m still viewing them as slightly separate things where, maybe, this could just be where my barriers around nudity are and not fundamentally being embarrassing. Somebody, someone, somewhere, some educated socialist will throw tomatoes at me for saying, Clothing is a social construct.
I was thinking, Oh, well, they can’t signal that they’re from the right side of town, anymore, right? So how much of that is playing into it? But I suppose there’s also a lot of, ya know, throw tomatoes at me, but the cultural construct around agency there, as well. They had to be forced to remove their clothes. So that can also be the kind of thing where it’s like, Oh, somebody forced you to strip. That’s the emasculating part of it. So it becomes a power thing. It’s just kind of an interesting idea, right… past a certain point, imagine how much harder it’s going to be in their circumstance where you’re just basically looking to get some clothes and a ride back to where you’re from. It almost seemed to be more difficult to run around like this (acting like he’s covering himself) the entire time as opposed to just being able to walk down the street.
Um, a-a-and, so… I love men being put in these fictional situations when there’s exposure in rather embarrassing situations. Um, what is your take on that fetish, on the ENM fetish and how, how it poses as an excitement to some people?
Yeah, I can certainly see the idea of also forcing vulnerability of any sort being appealing under certain circumstances. ‘Cause you can be guarded if you’re comfortable in your own skin. Their first layer of armor against the world getting stripped away. I can certainly see putting someone in a position where they’re suddenly a bit dependent. I feel weird executing that on somebody, though.
I mean, we’re talking fiction.
Yeah, it’s certainly an interesting way to get at just the general idea of how masculinity is presented. Right?
Umm, so you said your approach to nudity is more European. Ummmm, I actually find that to be the case as well as we are a nation founded by prudes..
Yeah.
Umm, however, growing up in this country, despite how liberal my attitude is, is towards this, I still feel that my perspective has been affected by this country’s approach to nudity. Umm, would you say the same for yourself being in America even in this age where information is everywhere, that your perspective has been affected by that, even a little?
Yeah. Yeah, certainly with my ability where I’m mostly comfortable by my own nudity, it’s definitely the case that I get startled every time male nudity is presented in any sort of media. Um, just because it is, like, men are always at least wearing a loincloth.
(we laugh)
Um, context is not super important, you know? You get the superhero movies where the superhero goes through an explosion and his uniform is mostly torn but, like, the nipples and the crotch are still covered. Every time. Doesn’t matter how the explosion happened; Doesn’t matter if the man walked through fire.
So I still get startled by it every time that happens. And I think that it’s just a product of the general prudeness around it. It’s like it still catches me off guard. Even it it’s where we have straight women be like, This is kind of nice. The fact that we seem to be slowly swinging in the other direction means that they get the same eye candy heterosexual men have been getting in mass media forever.
Exactly.
But it’s still mostly so closed off and conservative around that kind of stuff. There’s always that moment where it’s like, Wow, that’s surprising. And then don’t usually examine why it’s surprising. It just sort of catches me every time.
So, umm, in my article, Why So Private Dick (shameless plug) I talked about hooow frontal nudity, how frontal male nudity is starting to be more prevalent.
Yeah.
Umm, however, when it comes to ENM scenes umm, or scenes concerning forced exposure, there’s still a long ways to go. You, being a heterosexual male, do you, yourself, see this in films and TV and the media in general and, again, what is your take on that?
Um, I don’t know how much media there is that I’ve consumed like that, recently, where the embarrassment is part of the component around it. So, prior to reading your article, I don’t think I’ve actually thought about it in a long time.
Yeah. I mean, not being embarrassed by my own nudity, I just wind up getting confused about it when I see stuff like that were it’s like, you don’t have to take those short little steps around when you’re naked.
Like, why don’t you just walk? I mean, even if you’re gonna keep yourself covered, it is possible to keep your hand in front of your crotch or both hands in front of your crotch and carry a normal gait.
But the artistic purpose seems to be, Well, let’s make it relatable for all the men in the audience by having the character completely change the way that they’re physically presenting while in the nude beyond the fact that their clothing is missing. And that does seem to be how it gets played for laughs but also, I know friends of mine who would be really deeply embarrassed to have their pants tear while they’re on a boat with their friends. I mean, even if it’s, like, one ass cheek coming out because your swim trunks tore. ‘Cause, you know, you sat on a rock that was sharper or rougher than you were expecting, something like that. I definitely have friends who would be just wearing a towel for the rest of the time and be deeply embarrassed. And I wouldn’t try to be making them uncomfortable in that circumstance. I have learned my lesson about teasing other people around their barrier. But, it is still sort of surprising to come across that. Especially ‘cause, like, on average, we all kind of look similar. Like, the shoulders to hips ratio of most men is roughly the same. I almost wonder how much of it also men being specifically insecure about their penis? I do wonder how much an influence pornography has had on that? ‘Cause, obviously, those guys are under the kind of selective pressure where, it’s like….
Ye-e-e-e-es…
There’s a million men in Hollywood and those that get cast are three standard deviations out from the norm. Where, it’s a little bit weird thinking that there’s an ideal anyways, because that’s for heterosexual men. If you’re endowed like that, a foot long, and, like, a Coke can thickness? You’re going to hurt most of your partners if you’re not extremely careful. And even at my not pornstar-size self with that, I have to be careful. And so, it really seems to have the comparison issue and then there’s the men-are-never-supposed-to-be-naked issue. I think that, sort of, cross-legged position makes it feel much more acute for folks and even having to walk differently on camera. Like, I would actually be very curious to talk to the director and the actors and be like, Did someone have to consciously direct you to walk that way? Or was it, Oh, I’m naked, therefore I walk differently, I move differently? Because I think that would be somewhat insightful to learn the perspective from the actors and the directors. Did the actors need coaching on how to be embarrassed while being nude?
I mean, I’ve seen pornstars, though, that are less hung than that. (Directing my attention to his penis.) Ya know, umm, but, actually, umm, talking about that fetish, um, that, that scene I wrote about in “Righteous Gemstomes,”..
Yeah.
When I talked about the beefy redhead not showing anything..
Yeah.
And, and, I equated that well, if a woman was put in that situation, how often, how often is it that we see a woman even in that kind of situation where she’s forced to show everything.. Now, you, you see it plenty of times, I think I remember, even umm, this one movie “Lovely and Amazing” with Dermot Mulroney and, umm, this British actor, I can’t remember her name, if you, if you saw her face, you’d know who she is, and there’s a scene in there where she’s completely naked and you see, you see her full frontal, right? Umm, while Dermot is in a sheet, half covered in a sheet. And, I remember in an interview, he was saying, Yeah, I mean, like, we, we were both pretty exposed in that scene… And I remember thinking, Mother fucker, what do you mean you were both pretty exposed? You were covered by a sheet, she, she was showing full bush. What do you mean?
Yeah, yeah. And, and it says something about: Nude female, desirable; Nude man, objectionable, where there’s this, like, weird construct.
It is one of those things that just because I’m insecure about how I look, I’m still fairly comfortable with it. Like, okay, so there’s only a limited amount that I can do about this, I’m just going to try to act as comfortably with myself.
I think that’s a perfect point to end this article on. This is an interesting contrast. The feelings Pilot says about himself. He’s a very attractive guy. But it comes down to a few things.
We are all our own worst critics. More often than not, no one can tear us down better than ourselves. The mirror can be your best friend or a savage beast that’s hell bent on making you feel like you’re the ugliest person in the room. But, coming from someone that deals with these kinds of demons, I think it’s important to recognize these fears and doubts. But only see them and see what they’re doing to you. And then realize that that is not reality. This is not your reality. You are better than that.
To me, being comfortable with one’s self is really the epitome of this whole forced-nude-male fetish.
I keep stressing fictional. And that’s my stance on it. These stories I write, this fetish I have, I’m fully aware that it’s most likely an extension of my perspective. I’m not going to say that it’s due to an insecurity or that it’s because I’m upset about something and I’m taking it out on other people. I really fuckin’ hate it when harmless fetishes are devolved into nothing more than the result of some emotional damage. That’s the same excuse several people use for those that are part of the queer community. Oh, you weren’t loved enough, so that’s why you’re this way. No, fuck that noise.
I’m really all about the fantasy. This situation? It’s not something I want to see played out in reality. And what Pilot said about him not wanting to make a friend more uncomfortable in an already deeply vulnerable state? That’s what I think, too.
To me, the ENM fetish is far more effective when everyone is in on it. Where everyone has a real desire for the outcome. That, to me, is far better and spicier.
Again, it gets me back to the same point I’ve written about before. Be the change you want to see in the world. When it comes to the embarrassment fetish (especially when it involves forced removal of clothing in varying ways) there’s still just way too much focus on women. I say, create it yourself, in any way shape or form. Form communities and gather people that are just as passionate about this fetish as you and just write it. Film it. Just create something that is entirely your own and something that not only would probably be a turn-on, but something you can feel great that you accomplished, that you contributed to the world.
So, Selvie, you must be asking yourself. Where the hell have you been? Or maybe you’re not asking that at all. Maybe you’re just asking yourself, What the fuck is a “Selvie”?
Well, truth is, I’ve been trying to introduce an article that was born out of a conversation between myself and an acquaintance where we happen to find common ground on on the portrayal of male nudity in the media
There was this little piece I wrote on my viewpoint about the actor Joseph Dain and on frontal nudity in ENM media. It had gotten some attention. This also made the rounds to some friends and acquaintances. Among them was a straight dude that worked as a support staff member in a place I frequent. Pilot (that’s what I’m going to call him in these articles) was a unique case. He didn’t feel comfortable about his body, but at the same time, he had no qualms with being naked. As we talked more on this, it lead to talk about how I thought he was an attractive guy, which lead to talk about the social constructs between straight and gay men. That lead into talks of an interview, which lead to a suggestion that he be naked during the interview. I can’t remember which one of us came up with that, or if it was an idea that transpired, equally, from our conversation.
So, the interview happened and, true to his word, after I got into his apartment, he undressed fully and there he was, completely naked in front of me.
We talked about several subjects, all of which will be covered in other articles coming in the future. And while there was a certain excitement attached to seeing this guy in the buff, what was a more prevalent feeling was why he agreed to do it. He believed in my voice, believed in what I had to say. And he agreed to connect on a completely intellectual level where the only barrier that was taken down was clothing. And then I just…. did nothing for quite a while. I had kept putting it off because of both a certain fear and because I figured, would anyone want to hear what I had to say after leaving the scene for so long?
I unfairly compared this period of procrastination to certain personal failures in the past and was using that to build my outlook of the future instead of knowing that failure… is only part of the process. Failure just means that it is something to learn from while you’re down there on the ground, picking yourself back up again.
With that said, while the past should only be considered a vacation spot and nothing to proclaim permanent status in, sometimes, it’s necessary. I’ve often used the past as a way to repeat the future. So, why not do the opposite? Use my past and even the bridges I have burned as a way to build new paths. Sure, I may not be in my 20s anymore, hell, I’m not even in my 30s anymore. But that doesn’t mean that I should just go run to a mountain top, rent out a shack and declare myself a hermit. So, this is where I start. By writing an article I should have written over a year ago.
On the day of the interview, I saw him waiting upstairs on his patio. As I walked upstairs to his apartment, there was a slight nervousness I’d felt. Because, truth be told, even though I’ve written many stories about men being forced into very naked situations, I’m pretty big on consent. It’s not like I go running around with gun in hand forcing dudes to take their clothes off.
I use a fake gun. Obvi.
But seriously, I wanted to make this as comfortable for him as possible. This wasn’t necessarily going to be like in a locker room or at some nudist camp. This was going to be a wholly different experience.
Here is a snippet of the conversation on that day:
Once the door and blinds were closed, he began to undress. To ease some of the tension, I did comment on some of his tattoos, trying to attach a casual vibe to the start of the discussion. I would be lying if I didn’t say my heart was beating a little bit faster, or even if there was a hint of desire at the back of my mind. But tempered both with concentrating on the questions I’d prepared and just how I would want this to come across when I wrote it later.
Once his clothes were shed, I sat down on his couch and he sat in front of me. I flipped on the recorder:
I’m just going to start off with a few simple questions.
Sure.
So, right now, with me being clothed and you not, how, how do you feel right now?
Eh, I’m mean, just a little bit nervous at the start of it. But I have a much higher tolerance for my own nudity than other people. It was, maybe over the summer, um… with some friends and they had a natural spring pool in a little place that we rented, right? And I had completely forgotten to bring swimming trunks with me. So I just popped in, just in briefs, right? Never even occurred to me. Ya know, for the rest of the weekend, my friends are sort of aware that I don’t have the same boundaries around my own nudity.
Yeah.
Um, but it’s still just, like, teasing. It’s like, Pilot’s running around in his panties. Totally normal vacation.
So, I remember, ummm, you’d said that your, ughh, your approach to nudity is either, ugh, obsolete or rare. From what you see in movies, pop culture, um, can you explain why you feel it’s different from your point of view compared to how others see it?
Um, I think it’s a combination of two things: Some of it is just my dad, who has that lack of boundaries around male nudity and, basically, just me and Dad growing up. Umm, being raised by somebody who didn’t have any real boundaries around that. It didn’t occur to me until I was in high school that there was a barrier around it. And the way that I discovered it is that I’d be in the locker room after track practice.
Basically all of my teammates would face the wall the entire time. Right? So, if I wanted to, if I was directing my comments to somebody, I would turn to face them. Because that’s normal conversation behavior. None of us are wearing any clothes so, like, who gives a shit? Literally every single one of my teammates would just stay facing the wall. Ya know, got teased a little bit about that kind of stuff. But, nothing mean-hearted. I think normal rich-white-kid homophobia about it every once in a while. It was just clear that my boundaries were in a very different spot than there’s were.
Did anyone ever sneak down there?
Not that I noticed. It just seems to be a bit of a thing, like, I think, my attitude about it, especially collective male spaces like locker rooms, I think I might have been one of the last people to pick up that attitude? Right? I definitely noticed that there’s a generational divide when I’m in the locker room as an adult. The men who are, like, 50 plus don’t really give a fuck. They pop out of the shower, they dry themselves off, they’re talking to each other the whole time. They’re not taking any measures to be physically modest like in the locker room whereas everybody who’s like 35 and younger seem to be, well, much closer towards ya know, turning your back to your friends while you’re changing. Even if you’re continuing a conversation.
This was Pilot’s viewpoint. Incredibly open minded and willing to discuss and talk about boundaries and his personal journey with fitness and even talking about the ENM fetish, but also, wanting to deconstruct it and having no issue about being not only a visual focal point, but an anchor to ground the subjects at hand into talk of intellect and sexuality and how it has all changed over time.
As of writing this article, 744 days, 17,856 hours and 1,071,360 minutes has passed since the publishing of “Why So Private, Dick?”
I remember telling myself that this was going to be the start of a new Selvie Blue. Erotic fiction mixed with in-depth articles and viewpoints. But, along the way, something happened. Something got in the way. The same something that can destroy us if we let it. The same something that can give us strength and passion and desire and hope and the whole pallet of human ambitions and emotions. It’s said to weigh about 3 pounds, it rests behind our eyes and produces millions of thoughts each day.
For the longest time, I have let regret and fear take the wheel. I have allowed all of these negative thoughts to not only stay, I have rented out entire departments in my brain for them. Because of this, I tend to dip my toes in new perspectives and projects only to get swallowed up by sink holes that can drag me back down into a stagnancy.
But, what Pilot said about being comfortable with himself… he’s right. You can’t punish yourself when you fall short of goals you’ve set for yourself. It doesn’t do anyone any good, most of all, yourself. All you can do is get back up and keep trying.
With that said, I want this to be the beginning of a series of articles, each one on different focal points we had in our conversation. This is my groundwork. The road I’m putting in front of myself.
While we’re only human and fear and regret are part of the combo package that make us who we are, it shouldn’t be what controls us. So, this is me… taking the wheel.
Picture it: two arrogant college-rich kids arrive in the bad part of town to score some drugs. But when they’re forced up to the roof of an apartment building, they’re not taught about the evils of drug use via a resurgence of the D.A.R.E. program. Instead, they’re made to hand over their clothes before their threads star in the latest remake of Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’,” as envisioned by the thugs throwing their garments over the roof. What follows is the two naked and embarrassed guys wandering around the building looking for some help. However, they seem to have forgotten that this is a town on the wrong side of the tracks, and people are more suspicious than helpful. So their attempts are in vain, much like D.A.R.E. attempted to try and convince their target audience that “drugs aren’t cool.”
While this part of the film may be a staple in the community of those of us who follow such scenes, and while, yes, even I have gotten off to it a few times, there is one important thing missing. While you do see the two guys’ butts for a while, their fronts are covered by their hands. Not to mention that the camera doesn’t dare go south of the equator unless it’s shielded and covered tighter than the chastity device on Amy Yasbeck’s character in Mel Brook’s “Robin Hood: Men In Tights.”
The aggressor was played by Micky Rourke. A former heartthrob from the ’80s who starred in films like “Diner”, “9 ½ Weeks” and “Angel Heart”. The dark-haired guy was played by Joseph Dain.
From about 2003 to 2004, Joseph Dain would parlay this exposure into a very short-lived portion of his career, where he starred in a few softcore movies involving minimal plots and men wearing minimal to no clothing. Imagine something like 2000’s Voodoo Academy. Except instead of featuring beautiful guys in their jockey shorts, they featured hunks sans jockey shorts.
However, the same can’t be said of Mr. Dain. He decided to carry on his modest status, even in films like this. And, for the longest time, I never understood it. Here, you have this good-looking guy surrounded by a bunch of other hunky, built dudes just letting their ding-dongs flop in the wind, while Dain only goes as far as to show this much:
In the film, Dain plays a character named Clayton. Clayton is secretly obsessed with his best friend, Brian, played by Chris Michaels. Clayton is living with not only Brian but a bunch of other dudes in this bachelor pad scenario. Of course, all the guys look like centerfolds. While pining for Brian, Clayton gets lost in these fantasies where he’s picturing the various men fashioning the suits they were born in.
Here is a breakdown of some of those guys:
We have Julian Cocoa as Raymond. A rent guy Clayton hires to put on a private performance for him while his roommates are away. Raymond then puts on a strip show and bares all.
Then, we have Steven. A neighbor played by Adam Blinn, whom Clayton spies on while he’s washing his car before proceeding to fantasize about said neighbor in the buff.
And then we have Chris Michaels, playing his best friend. Near the end, Clayton can’t take it anymore and wants to make his fantasy a reality. So, he does the reasonable thing and confesses to Brian, and they have a deep, meaningful conversation. Actually, no, no, that’s not what happens. Clayton goes a little psycho, ties him to a chair, and then proceeds to rip his clothes off.
Again, all this male nudity, all this dick flyin’ everywhere, and how much does Dain show of himself? Let’s review:
That’s pretty much it. So, you’re tellin’ me that this actor is starring in a movie where all these other guys are running around the set and revealing everything they’ve got to the camera and, even in one scene, where Dain, himself, is actually tearing the clothes off of one of the actors and we still see his penis, but all we get to see of you, Mr. Dain, is your butt? Oh, bravo, man. How brave you are to wiggle your ass for a few seconds while your co-workers are showing far more.
After these films, he left gay softcore erotica and moved on to low-budget horror and TV, according to his list of credits on IMDB. However, his main page on IMDB lists him as “Joe” Dain instead of “Joseph” Dain. And even though his softcore films are included, you’d have to scroll down and expand the “actor” category to see them. They’re nowhere to be found on his main list of films he’s starred in. It’s almost as if he just wants you to forget about them.
But let’s investigate why Joseph, I’m sorry, “Joe” Dain would want to put these movies far, far behind him. Is it because he’s a fuckin’ hypocritical prude who refuses to show much of anything, despite that being the main point of the films he was the main character in? HELL, YES!! But, hey, I’m not bitter.
The other reason is because of Hollywood itself. Only recently has full-frontal male nudity become less taboo, both in film and TV. Film, however, is slower on that front. This is mainly because all the people on the ratings board are hypocritical prudes and are more ready to condemn anything more sexual than they are to anything violent. I highly recommend you watch the 2006 documentary “This Film Is Not Yet Rated” to get more information on that. Not only is it a fun film to see, but it is highly informative and reveals how antiquated and unnecessary the MPAA is in today’s world.
There has been more of a stigma against men showing what they’ve got between their legs than against women. And if “Joe” Dain were to actually go full frontal in these movies, then he may not have been able to proceed into the career he wanted for himself. All because the studios would have likely taken one look at his previous work and said, Oh, it looks like you were involved in gay porn. I’m sorry, but we are cleaner than that here. Okay, let’s get ready for that graphic, bloody death scene. As for you, get out of our sight! You make us SICK!
Maybe it wouldn’t have been that extreme, but, I’m sure, there would have been some bias and prejudice, at least causing some resistance in him moving forward simply by showing his willy.
Even though frontal male nudity is becoming more common, when it has come to ENM scenes in the past, especially ones involving disrobing or being disrobed by force, the penis was still only doing one show a year:
Pierce Brosnan plays a man who’s recently been released from prison after serving a four-year sentence for a crime he didn’t commit. In this scene, he lures two goons down on the beach and shows he’s packin’. An actual gun, that is. He makes the two henchmen undress. And when one of them asks, “Keep our shorts on?” Pierce’s character slyly smiles and says, “Please.” We see this time and time again. A guy is running around with not much on, and the other men in the scene are not only trying to shield themselves from seeing anything, but they’re also acting like they need a bucket to vomit in. Because another man’s anatomy is just so offensive and so horrid to look at that it traumatizes them to such a degree that they end up in a mental institution: Poor George over there. Can’t talk, can’t speak. Because he was playing a game of strip Monopoly, and he happened to see a male player’s beef bus swing from the corner of his eye.
At least in this scene, Pierce isn’t that blatant about it. And even when one of the guys says he “can’t swim,” he makes it a point to look directly at the guy’s bikini briefs and respond by saying, “Of course not. You’re a hunter, aren’t you?” I’m not necessarily sure what that means, but I’m certain it’s something snarky and British.
Pierce plays the part with less repulsion and, let’s face it, homophobia as some other actors of the time in scenes similar to this nature. There’s still an underlying shadow of rigidity. Honestly, I think he does the best he can with the material he’s given, and his charm and charisma kind of make it work. And I’m not sure if looking at the dude’s package was improvised or not, but I’d like to think so. If only for the fact that he wanted to play it with a certain level of comfort and shy away from a heteronormative train of thought that was the reality for many films existing in that era. And while there were plenty of homoerotic scenes made in the oblivious attempt to display machismo (I’m looking at you, valley ball scene from 1986’s “Top Gun”) it was still understood that they were only supposed to be shown up to a certain point. Perhaps the two guys showing rear ends after taking off everything may not have been what the director envisioned. But if this were to show frontal nudity of these two muscle-bound bouncers, it probably would have been slapped with an X rating, and there would be no chance of this getting a wide release. The film probably would have been even more obscure had the men bared all, and it wouldn’t have been so easily found on YouTube.
Peaky Blinders was a British series brought to the States and streamed on Amazon. (currently not a part of Prime, though). In this scene, Cillian Murphy makes two men undress for the visual pleasure of a couple of women. While we do get a nice look at their butts, we don’t see any frontal nudity… at all. The camera even stops at the waist.
Okay, first off, this show is British. We’re talking about a country that has a reality show about naked people competing to hook up. So, they have a show like that, but they can’t even show a couple of guys’ dicks in what, from what I understand, is a pretty violent and graphic show? The UK is usually more liberal than that. America may have a history of minimal frontal male nudity on the screen, but I am not sure why Britain would be following suit.
Thomas Jane plays an officer who pulls over a guy to get more information from him. While doing so, he has the man perform a strip search in the street. And he doesn’t even let him have his clothes back. It’s a hot scenario, and one that I’ve certainly gone to the self-service station with.
However, as hot as this scene is, I still would have liked to have seen some dong from the guy being made to take his clothes off on a heavily populated city street. However, I have to wonder: if that were the case, would this scene have been made public on ThisVid? As many of you know, while ThisVid is a great resource for ENM and even has quite a few scenes with frontal nudity, it’s also notorious for the majority of those scenes being under lock and key, and whether you see them depends on whether the person that has that scene in their collection allows you access. I’ve found that that’s kind of a 50/50 shot.
The actor that is being made to strip is played by Devon Werkheiser, who got his big break on the Nickelodeon show Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. Maybe it was his choice not to go full frontal because this was how he got started. And, again, what does that say about our culture? That a man being seen fully from the front could do damage to his career? Why should it be? Wouldn’t it show dedication to the scene? Be more authentic?
However, today, directors are actually taking more chances. In addition to queer storylines being put to the forefront, when it comes to ENM, the penis has been upgraded to a guest-starring role in more works. There’s a liberation starting to happen:
Thandiwe Newton plays one of the robots that’s been gaining more sentience in a futuristic park. In this scene, amidst a rebellion of the robots, she makes one of the developers, played by Simon Quarterman, strip completely naked, and you see Simon’s uncircumcised penis flop around for a few seconds.
A group of thugs are hired to come in and start tearin’ shit up to send a message to Eli Gemstone, played by John Goodman. However, Eli puts a stop to it with his handy gun and decides to send the person who hired these goons a message of his own. So he forces all of them to strip everything off.
While this scene does show some dick, I have to admit, I really would have liked to see some dick from the hot, beefy redhead.
From how John Goodman is playing it, I can totally picture him saying something like, Got something to hide? You weren’t too shy about tearin’ through this place. C’mon, let’s see how much of a man you all are. You’re all big and tough? Why don’t you take those hands away and show us how proud and brave you are?
But, alas, he doesn’t. I, personally, think it would fit the scene more, especially a scene like this brimming with bravado that is nearly devoid of any kind of homophobic or heteronormative subtext. If these men are made to take everything off, then we should be seeing them made to show everything off. Perhaps the ginger-haired actor in this scene didn’t want to go full frontal, but how often do you think women were given the same choice in the past? Times may be changing, but there have been decades and decades of imbalance between male and female nudity to make up for.
And while we have made progress, we still get scenes like this:
The very hot and very hairy Will Forte is forced to strip completely naked by a group of mysterious kidnappers hiding behind the booming speakers from inside a tank. The scene is pretty nice, and it’s another one I’ve certainly enjoyed in the past. However, when it comes to seeing Mr. Forte from the front, this is the best we get:
That is so far away that I don’t even think Tumblr would consider this nudity. And why is the scene like this? Well, perhaps the answer lies in a comment made by Will Forte’s character: “C’mon, guys, it’s really cold out here!” Sure enough, everyone looks at Will’s willy as if investigating the deep, philosophical answer to life’s big questions.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little tired of this. The ol’ his-dick-is-so-small-it’s-not-even-considered-fun-size joke as a reason to not show a dick in full display and close enough to appreciate it. I know that there are people out there who get off on the humiliation of small penises, or SPH, but I don’t consider myself one of them. With that said, I’m sure even an SPH fan would have wanted to see what Will Forte had to show off, and not from FIFTEEN THOUSAND GOD-DAMN LIGHT YEARS AWAY! This may be a fetish, but I don’t think that’s why this scene was made. I think that this is a layover from the more restrictive days of TV. Using a guy’s size to demean him and make him feel less than, and I, for one, would rather that be a relic kept in the past (aside from when it is a fetish and made for the sole purpose of satisfying that, I don’t kink shame). In addition to the fact that there’s this misogynistic intensity fused deep into the fabric of the thought process behind scenes like this. How often is there that joke made where a guy gets a magnum-sized condom to overcompensate? God forbid anyone to doubt your manliness and masculinity. Because you’re a BIG MAN! Others shall cower at the sheer veracity, power, and strength of your throbbing piece of man meat. We should all be bowing to you and admiring such virility in the epitomes of masculinity. And while this probably wasn’t what the director had in mind, it most likely is a joke that has its roots in such troubling groundwork.
For an example of a piece of media that’s a little more brave, we have to go all the way to France:
Satya Dusaugey is certainly no stranger to frontal nudity, as he previously displayed in 2016’s Tapette. Nu is a series about a police officer who wakes up from a coma and finds that societal standards about the body have changed. The law has made it so that, now, if you are clothed and covering up your private parts, it is considered indecent. Because of the culture shock, Satya’s character endures due to this sudden pride in nudism and exhibitionism now being an integral part of society, he inevitably ends up in quite a few ENM scenarios. And unlike other works of media that involve a scene where a man’s nudity is brought up in humiliating ways, they made this pretty much the entire premise of the show. Not only that, but they managed to work in some pretty complex emotions and even make it go deeper than just, well, skin deep. And Dusaugey, it seems, is not shy when it comes to his work. He plays the part to perfection. Because of his unabashed nature, we get many, many, maaaaany scenes where Satya’s completely on display and has no qualms about acting in such exposing conditions. This kind of show probably wouldn’t fly here in the States, even on streaming platforms like Netflix or Amazon, where actors like Nick Clifford have gone full frontal. While male nudity is getting there, I don’t think the American streaming services may be ready for a show so matter-of-fact about the male genitalia.
As I said before, with platforms like ThisVid, the availability of ENM scenes involving frontal nudity being limited to private videos and a community that’s split on the level of access to such media far outweighs the easily available videos you can find where a man is in a situation where his clothes are taken away and you see everything.
This video, for example, which I only know by the title:
In this comedic short, a rather attractive man lives in a house that’s haunted. But it’s not haunted by any ghost. It’s a ghost that randomly undresses him. The film work is inventive in how the guy’s shirt opens up and his fly is unzipped, seen from accurate angles to give the appearance that his clothing is being removed by an invisible force.
This is an online video that I never really got into. I’m sure others will find it hot, but, as for me, it just pisses me off. Apologies to the actor here; he put a lot of effort and work into this short, and it shows. But for a video with such an inventive and sexy premise and this kind of talent behind the camera, there should be more of a pay-off, I think. You see, this ghost doesn’t necessarily understand the concept of “naked.” It always stops at his undershirt and underwear. We don’t even get to see his undershirt being removed. So, basically, he’s dressed down to the point that he might as well be sporting a shirt and form-fitting shorts. Why aren’t we seeing everything? Why isn’t this unique and creative camera work being used to go further??
However, let’s say it did go further. Let’s say it not only stripped this nice-looking guy to nothing but forced his hands in place, and we actually see his dick swingin’. Would this actually be a public video? Would it be so easily found?
Let me answer that with a previous search I’ve done in the past. When I’m online and I go to just Google or Bing and look up “men forced to strip,” I do find scenes, but they’re often scenarios and snippets either made for commercial networks where it’s played safe or where it’s just shy of seeing everything. But, in this same search, results of ENF, or embarrassed nude females, are mixed in. I didn’t click on them because, well, quite frankly, I didn’t want to, but I can tell from the titles and from the look of the images that it’s fetish porn. And I can guarantee you that you see everything of these women.
So, in this same search where I’m looking for men, the results of frontal nudity are a rare gem to find. Yet, when it comes to women, there are actually more examples of forced exposure of frontal nudity, despite the fact that I just told the search engine that that wasn’t what I was looking for.
A change is indeed happening. I’m seeing all around us that, as a society, we are getting tired of such an imbalance in the display of the female body compared to the male body. HBO, Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, and Shudder are all services with original works that include full-frontal male nudity. But when it comes to the fetish of ENM, that’s still proving slightly more difficult to find. For the most part, a good number of them are still hiding behind the velvet rope of privacy functions and subscription-based platforms. And, ya know what? I get it. If you’re a filmmaker, a creator who’s spent money on resources to make and create such works, then, yeah, I believe you should have a profit. If you put in the work, you should have a financial benefit. But I also believe that if our ENM community had more creators who started making film projects with full plots and stories and resources to make a professional film that has fewer boundaries when it comes to male exposure, then who knows? It may have a snowball effect, and we can find ourselves in a place where these search results of fetish erotica actually have what we’re looking for instead of the equivalent of having someone dig through the bargain basement bin and say, “Sorry, this is all we’ve got.” It’s been the norm for women to be used as visual mediums of sexual expression pretty much ever since the first film near the beginning of the 20th century. That’s still a standard and a basis of thought that has been sewn into the fabric of our cultural cornerstones, and it may be a while before we can move even further past that.
In fact, I have an idea for a future article where I’d like to list the stories I’ve written in the past that I would love to make into films. So, I’m getting the message out there. It’s like that expression goes: Be the change you want to see.
Advances towards this movement may have started, but let’s keep this train goin’. C’mon, filmmakers and show-runners, if you’re going to have embarrassing nude scenes of men in your work, especially ones where they’re forced to remove clothing or have clothing forcibly removed from them, let’s see it all. Dick Tracy may be private in his investigations, but dick, itself shouldn’t be concealed in evidence.
I’ve got my headphones on, at the moment, listening to a change should do you good. I’ve been at this writing game for a while, now. And, as I’m sure many have noticed, my writing tends to go through waves. This is because, most of my life, I’ve made the mistake of comparing myself to others. While it can be empowering to use others as inspiration and even empowering to say competition can sometimes be good for you, this shouldn’t always be the case. I shouldn’t always feel like I’m waiting behind the velvet rope of the latest and hottest club in town and trying to convince the bouncer at the door I’m worth going in while slipping him a 20. I’m sure that same bouncer probably wouldn’t understand the complex and cosmic metaphor of that 20-dollar-bill being the symbol of my insecurities simply trying to mask itself in the petty representation of this paper we use to trade and barter. And let’s just say, if this were real, his bouncer friends would already be dragging me away while saying, DUDE, YOU’RE TOO FUCKIN’ WORDY!
You see, the first time I stepped away was much like the second time I stepped away. I felt like I just wasn’t getting enough of a reaction or enough likes or enough shares. That my writing wasn’t enough. And maybe, I wasn’t enough. And I found I wasn’t writing for the sheer joy of writing. I was tap-tap-tapping at the keyboard, typing up words pushed forward from this paranoia in my head, QUICK! QUICK! GET IT OUT, NOW! Or you’ll be forgotten, faded into obscurity. And people will suddenly look at me with pity saying to themselves, There goes Selvie Blue, holding up that sign: will write for 15 minutes of any kind of attention. And, while it may be good to write within boundaries and try to appeal to the general public, it shouldn’t be the only thing that drives me. It should a balance. Trying to get my work to be more relatable while still being authentic to me and to myself. And this all had me asking myself, what would my niche be? What would make me different?
Well, the answer is, I don’t want to think about it too much. Thinking too much can cause creative head-aches, to which I’ll have to metaphorically pop some metaphorical happy pills that would be a bite-sized fast-food version of a road to enlightenment. Like it should be so easy to feel like a wise, thoughtful person that can meditate so effortlessly, I’d literally be floating in the air. “Look, everyone! No strings!”
But I think that we’re all well aware that our own consciousness and thoughts can come with strings attached. This got me to thinking about other things I’ve always wanted to say, things I’ve always wanted to write about: thought-provoking pieces about the frustrating divide of male nudity versus female nudity in Hollywood, a countdown of my favorite ENM movie scenes and going into descriptions of why they’re my favorite written with pathos and humor, maybe also a countdown of my least favorite scenes of both ENM and just male nudity in general. Mainly converting into an article-based format revealing me as a person, exposing my innermost thoughts and desires, what makes me tick, what drives me, and what makes me want to keep moving forward as well as what makes me afraid. All the while, still writing ENM fiction and including that in the mix. (Including continuing my Dinner and A Show story).
I think, for me, I should be more honest with myself. Yes, I wanna see if my writing gets any reactions. Yes, I wanna know if I’m, at all, popular. Maybe if I’m honest with that part of myself, I can use those parts of me that want so desperately to be liked and recognized to shape a new person. Smooth over these characteristics and then just take a deep breath. Stop kidding myself by saying it doesn’t matter if I get recognition or not. I mean, seriously, do you really think all those actors saying, It was an honor just to be nominated, are telling the truth??? Probably a more accurate portrayal is when Samuel L. Jackson was passed over for an Oscar and you could literally see him mouth the word, shit. Or fuck or something like that. And then, I can come to the realization that it doesn’t have to be one or the other. I think that several of us here that write these stories do want to be recognized. Not saying that for everyone as I’m sure just as many do it because they want to with the only thing driving them forward is, indeed, the sheer joy of writing. But, hey, I’m sure that at some point in our lives, we all wanted attention, we all wanted to be told, you did a really good job. I also want to celebrate why we’re here, whatever your reason is. I want to prop up instead of thinking of ways of trying to race ahead while yelling, Look at me! I’m being so different and clever, you’ll never catch me! Before running, face first, into a pole and realizing I probably should have ordered that slice of humble pie while dining at that restaurant titled: This is a literal representation of you.
I want to get better at, well, everything. Basically, I still want to be me, just an improved version of me. Not changing for the wrong reasons, but rather, shedding my nervousness and intimidation and pettiness and need to compare myself to others while still retaining at least a piece of all those bad parts of me to help me on my journey to a more advanced Selvie. You see, I don’t want to think of it as being freed from chains, but instead, using these fears and insecurities as ways to go through the chains. I want to accept me as I am, both the good and the bad, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll have found at least some kind of enlightenment and I wouldn’t even have to order it from the drive-thru lane of McDonald’s to get it.
Now, at this point, you’re probably thinking, Selvie. This article is titled, ‘Selvie In The Buff.’ Please don’t tell me that that was just a symbolic title to represent the exposure of your deepest fears and desires and to relay to us the naked embrace of everything that makes you you and give your article an eye-catching, click-baity title. Either put up or shut up, man. Let’s see some skin! OW!
And to which, I’d respond, Of course it was symbolic man. Pfft. Well, that’s it for now, BYE EVERYONE!
Okay! Okay! JK, people. Geesh! While, yes, it is a symbolic title, I actually do want to use the flesh of my naked body to represent a metamorphosis. That I am stepping forward more as myself while still working on me physically, mentally, and emotionally. And while I still have insecurities about myself and my body, I also want this to be another way to say that this is just me.
Oh, and it’s a shot from the shoulders down. Sorry, not going to show myself from head to toe. Not sure if I will, but maybe someday. With that said, here is me: awkward, sometimes overthinking, energetic, weird, wonderful me:
Selvie Blue 